


The Machine Plays Matchmaker

by bruisespristine



Series: Past the Precipice [1]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4973575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruisespristine/pseuds/bruisespristine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Machine knows for a fact that if Root and Shaw don't hook up, the world will end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Machine Plays Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> [Translation available here](http://stumpfeaxt.lofter.com/post/1de04222_ba1d19e)

_//analysing data..._

It’s unmistakable. Since Primary Asset Shaw was taken by Samaritan, things have changed dramatically. Even though she was now returned to the team, there were some severe deficits in both her and the Analogue Interface’s performance. A 32% decrease in efficiency and a 17% increase in injury and damage sustained between the two of them. In every scenario outlay the Machine could generate, the schism between Shaw and Root grew and resulted in the ultimate deaths of every member of the team. At first, the Machine churned through the data and saw likely signifiers of PTSD and depression, and neatly stacked those causes against the lowered performance of the team, anticipating a likely lift of those symptoms with time. But the information has been piling up, and the bio signifiers are indicating a different scenario.

_//calling data_

{ _City Cam 103657, 22:07, Sept 19_ }

On the video clip, Shaw slams her victim against the wall of an alleyway, holding him there with a firm hand on his chest and looking him up and down. The short, black man gives her a wide grin. He tries to speak, but she gags him with her mouth, kissing him furiously until his arms go around her. They ‘make out’ for four minutes before Shaw pulls back, swiping her hand across her mouth with a look of total fury on her face. She stomps out of the alley, leaving the man dazed and confused, looking down at the bulge in his trousers with a depressed expression. There’s no audio file. 

_//calling data_

{ _Bar Cam ‘Shootouts’ #7, 02:34, Sept 30_ }

Root writhes on the dance floor, pressed against a smaller brunette. The Machine’s data reveals 71% physical commonalities with Primary Asset Shaw. Root leads the woman off the dance floor, down a corridor { _Bar Cam ‘Shootouts’ #3 02:36, Sept 30_ } and into the women’s bathroom. There’s no camera in there. Fourteen minutes later the brunette storms out of the door so violently it slams and bounces. There’s blood on her lip and she’s mouthing ‘crazy fucking bitch’. Root follows five minutes later with an unreadable expression on her face. She doesn’t look up at the camera. 

_//analysing data..._

Analogue Interface: Time since last satisfying sexual encounter nine months, sixteen days, four hours and thirty six minutes. Partner’s chosen for extreme correlation to Asset Shaw

Primary Asset Shaw: Time since last satisfying sexual encounter, four months, three days, eighteen hours and twenty one minutes. Every partner chosen diametrically opposite of Analogue Interface, change in past partner selection process. Conclusion: Deliberate. 

Scenario Conclusion: Sexual frustration and preoccupation. Result: Distraction and arousal in each other’s presence, lowered cognitive functions. Solution: Primary Asset and Analogue Interface must have sexual intercourse. 

***

It takes the Machine eleven days to set up a suitable scenario. Asset Fusco grumbles no end when he’s instructed to put on a Hazmat suit and await further instruction in a warehouse. Admin demands information, so the Machine obliges.

 _Maneuvering sexual encounter between Primary Asset and Analogue Interface. 87.65% chance of success. 98.34% chance of morale and performance improvement._

John spits his coffee onto the back of Harold’s head when he reads the screen, and Harold blinks owlishly, seemingly lost for words. The Machine realises She should clarify

_Primary Asset Shaw not Primary Asset Reese_

“Thank God. I mean. What? Shaw and Root?” John sounds so genuinely flabbergasted that Harold’s face twitches into a smile briefly while he carefully dabs at his hair with a kleenex.

 _Affirmative_

The Machine leaves a subroutine to explain to Admin and Primary Asset Reese why this is a necessity to get the team functioning properly and carefully guides Asset Fusco through his role in making sure Root receives the correct drug quotient to enable the Machine’s best case scenario. After running hundreds of thousands of different options the Machine had come to the conclusion that the only way to force the encounter planned between them was to take away their autonomy. Unfortunately almost every other scenario (not including imprisonment, where success was all but guaranteed after ninety one days in captivity) resulted in an irrevocable split between the Primary Asset and Analogue Interface which they were headed toward on a 99.97% certainty. In order to avoid that undesirable outcome, the Machine had analysed and implemented an elegant solution. 

In the hallway, Analogue Interface takes in precisely the right amount of airborne chemicals and proceeds as instructed to wash her face. The Machine carefully guides her home and orders her the ice she will need to maintain a manageable temperature before the planned arrival of Primary Asset Shaw.

Dialling Shaw while she’s in the middle of what is a pleasant dream according to the Machine’s vast databanks and the audio connection from her phone is crucial to the desired outcome. Subliminal messaging to help eradicate the Primary Assets’ nightmares have become a daily part of the Machine’s operations, but have only recently come to take proper effect. She is glad to see that this night is a good night for Shaw, and as She sets the final part of her scenario in progress, she contents herself with running back old video captures of the obvious and clear lust, respect and admiration that two of her team members share. She thinks this is when the humans would say to ‘get the popcorn’.


End file.
